Who am I kidding? I can’t do a 30 day workout/diet regime. I can’t even do a 3 day workout/diet regime. Let’s face it – diets suck. Working out sucks. I hate working out and I love food. It’s as simple as that. I’m sick of starving myself and working out so hard that I have no engery all day long (isn’t exercise supposed to make you feel all energized and junk?). I quit. I’m a quitter. Whatever.

I think what I would like to do instead is a whole new life change. I don’t want to diet, but I do want to eat healthier. Then again, I’m not going to stop myself from eating a few slices of pizza every now and again. We all know what happens when you forbid yourself from eating a certain food – after awhile, you BINGE. Well, I do anyway. And it’s not fun. I’d rather eat what I want, and just eat the ‘bad’ stuff in moderation. I think 5 very healthy dinners/lunches/breakfasts a week is good. That way if I decide I want over-easy eggs and bacon for breakfast one day, I can have them. As long as I have a small helping and keep up with my 5 days of healthy meals.

I’d also like to keep up taking the dogs for a 30-60 minute walk every day. This is not only good for me, but for the dogs as well. The vet said that Buddy was a bit overweight and I know that is my fault. I feel horrible and I need to do something to help him. In the process, I am also helping myself so it’s a win-win situation.

As far as working out goes, I may pop in the Jillian DVD every now and then, if I feel I need a really good workout one day. Otherwise, my daily walks are good enough right now. I’d also like to do a really good clean of the whole house once a week. That’s good workout, too.

I totally didn’t work out today. And I totally don’t care. Okay, that’s not entirely true. I did beat myself up about it for awhile, but then I said you know what, I am not a superhero. Working out HARD for 2 1/2 hours every day is exhausting and today I need a break. I really did. I just needed to sleep. I haven’t been sleeping well the last few days. I am just so TIRED all day long. I was also feeling nauseous and had a pounding headache for at least 2 days straight. No joke. And no I’m not pregnant. I’m no Michelle Duggar. One kid is enough for me right now. Don’t expect any I’M PREGNANT AGAIN! posts any time soon. I purposely put that phrase in bold just to see how many people would shit their pants thinking it was true. Sorry mom, but you are only a grandma to ONE baby! Bah humbug.

I did lots of housework to make up for the fact that I didn’t do my workout. Housework IS work, you know. Don’t kid yourself. All of that vaccuuming and dishes and dusting and laundry. It never ends. If I had money to blow, it would go to a housekeeper. And I would spoil her rotten. Because she’d make my life so much easier. Why am I assuming she would be a she? Are there no male housekeepers out there. With a nice tan, dark hair and sexy figure? Shemar Moore maybe? Thanks, Santa!

I also took Buddy for a 45 minute walk which was quite refreshing. I love getting outside every day, even for just a short while. I know the dogs like it, and they’re my pals and I like to make them happy. Except when I find them eating used diapers and their own shit. Which is why cats rule, dogs drool! Yep, I went there.

Today was my first day back on The 30 Day Shred and yeah I HATE YOU, JILLIAN. I remember the very first time I did the workout I felt like I was going to vomit. That was today. I remembered that feeling all too well. After the workout was complete, I sat on my ass and chugged a glass of water. Then I ate some cantaloupe and yogurt and decided I wasn’t done working out yet.

I set these goals for myself and I’m determined to meet them. That means the 20 minute workout DVD and 2 hours of cardio EVERY DAY until I reach my goals. The working out isn’t even an issue for me, it’s the eating healthy bit. I LOVE FOOD. Okay? I want it all the time. And I don’t want any boring crap like salad or celery or carrots. I want cheese and bacon and chocolate and pizza and everything that is bad for you. Why does bad food have to be so damn delicious?!

This evening my SIL came over and she brought us a jumper for Elliott that she picked up from my other SIL for us. He was unsure of it, as it had so many bright colours and lights and music and OMG IS THAT A FROG? Elliott loves frogs. He can’t really jump yet, but he liked it when we would bounce the jumper for him.

I love him. I wish I could crawl into his crib and snuggle with him right now.

Instead I think I will snuggle with my pillow in my own bed. I didn’t pay over a thousand dollars for a bed that would not be snuggled in. NO WAY, JOSE!

Last night Richard and I went to one of his many work Christmas parties. It was held at a co-worker’s home, or should I say mansion, and it was fantastic. I got to meet all of the millionaires (no, really) that he works with every day and I was surprised that none of them were snobby, cranky old farts. Seriously – aren’t all rich people old, cranky and huge snobs? Or do I just imagine that?

Anyway. This house was so big, I think it was at least 4 stories and the basement, which is definetely the best place in the house (that I saw), was not only a movie room but also home of the largest collection of hockey memorabilia after the Hockey Hall of Fame. Now, I am not a sports fan at all, but this collection was so remarkable. They had everything you can imagine. Official jerseys, playing cards, sticks, pucks, OFFICIAL CONTRACTS and even seats from the stadium they were going to tear down. I could have stayed down there all night just looking at all of that stuff. It was amazing.

The party was catered and even though most of the food was not my type of grub (ewwwwww sushi!!!), there were some yummy things there. Sliders, coffee brownies, and I think that’s all I ate. I wasn’t really hungry. I promise I wasn’t being a snob. I ate before we went there because I was pretty sure I wouldn’t like the food that would be served. I was right so I WIN.

It was a great night and I’m really glad Richard and I were able to get away for a few hours, just the two of us. Thanks so much to my bestie for babysitting. Love you lots, mamacita (totally your new nickname)!

I spent the better part of my evening watching Criminal Minds and sipping hot chocolate. I don’t know if there’s anything better than a hot cup of chocolate on a cold winter night. That sounded like a line in some cheesy novel, but I mean it! I hate winter with a passion but I love sipping hot chocolate and I only do that when it’s cold out. Christmas lights, vanilla and apple cinnamon candles, hot chocolate and some good tv. Now that’s what I call a good night.

Of course no evening would be complete without evening chores. Feed Elliott, feed the animals, clean up the kitchen from dinner (chili makes a big mess… just fyi), tidy up the living room and let the dogs out fifty times so they can pretend to go to the washroom but what they are really doing is sniffing each others’ butts. Sigh.

Tonight was even more special because I had two big loads of laundry to do. I don’t think anyone hates doing laundry more than I do. Seriously. It’s not even the act of washing the stuff that bugs me, it’s waiting for the machines to tell me that THEY are done. I don’t wait for anyone, but I have no choice but to wait for my washer and dryer. They own me. I can finish my laundry when the damn well let me. And usually by that time I have forgotten I was even doing laundry so the stuff sits in the machines and gets stinky and/or wrinkly. Nice.

There were no problems tonight and me and my washer and dryer got along nicely. The laundry is not stinky, nor wrinkly and I can go to bed happy that every task was completed. Until tomorrow…

Today I found out that there was supposed to be a huge snow storm, bordering on blizzard, and it would happen overnight. I hate snow and hate the cold, but if it means that we are snowed in – that’s kind of fun. I guess. Until we run out of food. Or diapers. Oh, the horror! Also, I would not be able to leave the house and make snow angels because I have no boots. I LOVE SNOW ANGELS!

Soooo, what’s a girl to do? Buy boots of course! I loaded Elliott up in the car and we headed out to Walmart so I could get myself appropriate footwear. I found a pair of boots that were in my budget and weren’t pink and sparkley and didn’t have crazy designs all over them (seriously, besides 10 year old girls, who wears those?), so I bought them.

I also picked up a set of 3lb dumbells so I can start doing the 30 Day Shred again (no weight loss pills here), Erica’s birthday present, a free (with MIR) Airwick candle, and some cans of formula. It was a good trip.

When Richard came home from work we ate dinner and then went to the mall because we needed to get a few things there as well. He found some work clothes and I got a box of envelopes and a tree topper. I also dropped a pair of my pants off to get hemmed. I’m very exciting, I know.

Then Richard used some of his allowance to buy me a Chocolate Skor Bits Candle apple. Yeah, I love him.

Elliott was a good little boy all day. No fuss. I love him too.

Now I’m ready for the snow. As long as it’s all cleared up by the weekend because I HAVE THINGS TO DO.

Dear Buddy and Maggie,
I don’t know why you feel the need to constantly eat GARBAGE, but please stop. Watching you eat a tissue that was just used to catch a mouthful of baby vomit is not fun, nor sexy. It is also not fun to walk upstairs and see torn up diapers all over the floor. You know that Elliott craps in those things right? You are eating POOP. Surely you cannot be that hungry.

Scooping dog poop with bits of tissue and diaper in it is rather disgusting. We would appreciate it if you would stop being so damn gross. Thank you ever so much.

Love,
Mom and Dad

Howdy partners. It’s been a crazy few days over here. Erica came over Friday night and we went shopping (would you expect us to do anything else?). Scored a few deals and then went home to bed. We snuggled. She is so warm and cozy.

Saturday we… yeah… WENT SHOPPING! Hell, I must seem so incredibly dull. I swear I only shop once or twice a week. Pinky swear. I wouldn’t lie to ya’ll. You’re my buddies.

We only shopped for a few hours and then went back home and my mom and sister came over to visit. My crazy ass sister was starving and didn’t like what we were making (sausage! who doesn’t like honey garlic sausage?! only crazy people.) so she bought a pizza and ate all but 2 slices. What a champ.

Around 8, Erica, Richard, Richard’s friend Tyler and I left for Toronto. I don’t know if I mentioned it, but one day at work a few weeks ago, Richard’s boss gave him 6 free tickets to a Weezer concert. Box seats. You know, where all the fancy rich folks hang out. That’s where we were going. Sweet!

It was a great concert. I did not appreciate the bill we received at the end of the night that included an $8 bag of Lays and $16 bag of mixed nuts. I only cried a little and then I remembered I had to pee so, ya know, gotta deal with one crisis at a time.

Today we had a 1st birthday to go to. We rushed there, played with babies, ate cake, changed diapers, fed the cutest baby ever, and then came home and made dinner.

We ended the night with some Criminal Minds and Amazing Race. Ahhh, what a weekend.

So did I tell you all that I quit the 30 Day Shred after two weeks of busting my ass? Yeaaaah. I suck. I blamed it on a sore foot but I think it was just me being lazy. I was halfway done! I also think it was due to using weights that were too heavy and then eventually not using weights at all.

Now I feel fat and lazy and gross and want to eat chocolate and cheese all day long (though, not at the same time). I plan to get back into it next week. I’m buying smaller weights this weekend and am planning our meals to be healthier, at least for the month I’m doing the Shred, because I can’t say no to spring rolls for very long.

So. Next Monday. Don’t let me forget.

Richard has gone out after work twice this week. He’s out again tonight and it’s past his bedtime and what do you know – he’s not in bed! Tisk tisk. He’ll be sorry tomorrow. While I sleep in. And then nap, too.

Is anyone else scared to be home alone? Even though I have two big dogs (one that would probably attack an intruder and one that would knock me over on his way up the stairs to hide under the bed) I don’t like to be alone. Night time is the worst. As soon as it starts to get dark, I curl up in a ball and hide in a corner until Richard comes home.

Outside in the dark? BAD. Outside alone in the dark? VERY BAD. I would probably cry if I was alone outside at night. I think I watch Criminal Minds and Law and Order (and CSI, and Without a Trace) way too much.

Maybe if I took a human growth hormone pill I would be big and tall and scary. Then no one would mess with me. But then I would probably be afraid of myself and that would not be any fun at all.

After hearing the great quarterly bonus news from Richard today ($15,000 was the amount given, but he only ended up with $9,606.75 after taxes – damn government!), we decided to go out to dinner to celebrate. I had a $10 off $30 coupon for Jack Astors so we went there. We were not dissapointed.

I ordered a chicken pasta and Richard got beef fajitas (which I failed to get pictures of because I SUCK AT LIFE, OKAY). We also had spring rolls and a small cucumber salad as an appetizer and then a tiny brownie for dessert. TINY. I just wanted a small hit of chocolate anyway, so this fit the bill.

Everything was so good and I even have leftovers for lunch tomorrow. Hoorah for bonuses – a nice dinner out is fantastic every once in awhile.

This restaraunt was superb. The atmosphere was great and our waitress was extremely nice (hi, Laura!). They had crazy decor which is always interesting and played great music. I especially loved their washrooms with the nice smelling hand soap and glass tile on the walls.

What a great day! I hope that doesn’t mean something bad is going to happen tomorrow. Because if it does I am going to be all I DON’T CARE and just keep smiling. Cause smiling is fun.